Monthly Peace Challenge: Marching Towards Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”~Mark Twain

Forgiveness. It’s so heavy. The thought of it weighs down on me like a Sumo Wrestler sitting on my chest. I have not forgiven Donkey, but he has not asked for it either. There are words upon words I could compose on this pardon, whether it has happened and just hasn’t been labeled as such, on the exculpation of self, on the excusing of others at play in that chapter, but I’d like to step away from these great depths of soul-searching absolution.

Grand Canyon

There is surface-forgiveness, lying just below the rim of the great canyon of life’s transgressions.  It happens everyday, and opens the path through the brambles to the greater wrongs. Practice makes perfect, so they say. I want to practice the everyday forgiveness and make easier the once-in-a-lifetime forgiveness. Everyday forgiveness doesn’t have to involve heavy, heart-un-hardening grand gestures of forgiveness.

  • I won’t blast my horn at the car that cuts me off on the interstate. His wife could be in labor. Her mother could be dying.
  • I won’t snide that person who didn’t smile back at me in the aisle at the grocery store. Her husband could beat her. His wife could be jealous.
  • I won’t turn my nose up at that skinny person buying cookies. She could have Hyperthyroidism. He could have just survived cancer.
  • I won’t raise my eyebrows at that fat person buying apples. He could be on steroids for asthma. She could be pregnant.
  • I won’t get upset with the person who doesn’t hold the door for me. He could have lost his peripheral vision. She could be getting yelled at by her boss.
  • I won’t grumble at the person who takes the last copy of Shrek from the RedBox. Her son could be sick. His girlfriend could need a pick-me-up.

To forgive is to stop blame and grant pardon. To blame is to assign responsibility for a fault or wrong. I cannot blame you for the responsibility I assign to your actions. Am I forgiving you for cutting me off? Or am I forgiving myself for holding you responsible when I don’t know the motivation behind the action. Perhaps it is neither. Perhaps it is both. Perhaps, I need more patience and I will find my way to the grand canyon and find its natural beauty and not its gaping hole.

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14 thoughts on “Monthly Peace Challenge: Marching Towards Forgiveness

  1. Pingback: Goldfish’s All-I’ve-Managed-To-Learn-So-Far Guide To Forgiving Oneself | Fish Of Gold

  2. Good piece, Melanie. And on a related note I’d also like to talk about forgiveness. Specifically, the total LACK of forgiveness I’m giving you for telling me the other day that you’re not a good writer. This is another superb display of your talent and so help my GOD if you disagree with me again I’ll hafta come down to Atlanta and give you a little more than a motivational kick in the butt.

    But a loving kick in the butt. in all seriousness, Melanie, you really do kick ass at this writing thing.


    • Ok. I will not disagree with you again. I will take the compliment, and I will agree that I can put words together into something meaningful. On another related note, this took two weeks of thinking, reading, writing, and editing to put together.


  3. It is I who is not a writer. I don’t even have the courage to put something…anything on my page. However, Melanie, it is within you. It is rolling and rumbling and boiling with such ferocious intensity. I think when you finally let go your creative force is going to burst forth like molten hot lava straight from Mount Tambora.. I will be right here reading every word!


  4. Pingback: Flash Forgiveness « everyday gurus

  5. Melanie,
    This is beautiful. I don’t know how I missed it in the reader, but I am so glad I found it. Love the patience here, not just with those minor irritations that irk us all, but with your progress through forgiveness. I hope one day you see the natural beauty of the grand canyon of forgiveness while you are bungee jumping into its gaping hole. 🙂
    Thank you for the helping work on empathy and patience. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo


  6. You don’t forgive people for THEIR sake. You forgive them for YOUR sake. By doing it, your resentment disappears and you can move on, leaving it all behind. This is a proven fact – Google it. With the conviction you show above this will be a piece of cake to you!


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