Emergency redefined by CNN

I watch the news. Every day. I really actually do. I get in some CNN and some CBS. I read some ABC and some Atlanta Journal Constitution. I don’t expect to be enlightened. I expect noise. I get noise. When I want something thought provoking I read The New York Times, listen to NPR, or watch The Daily Show.

It’s really a matter of not missing out. I wasn’t in the habit of watching the news when Saddam Hussein was captured or when Osama bin Laden was killed. My mom called, said she thought I’d want to know. I found out Michael Jackson and Whitney Huston died from Facebook. No body called; everyone knew I wouldn’t care. Right now I’m in a news habit. I’ll get over it soon enough. After this morning, it will be sooner rather than later.

This morning on CNN’s live continuing coverage of the Pope Watch:

“Don’t worry about the ambulances, there’s a hospital right near here. So ambulances move through throughout the day. Not a sign of any type of emergency. That said, the only emergency at hand for the cardinals is picking a new Pope”, live from Rome, Chris Cuomo.

Uh. What? Let’s rewind and listen to that again…pope new a picking is cardinals the for hand at emergency only the said that emergency of type any of sign a not day the throughout through move ambulances so here near right hospital a there’s ambulances the about worry don’t.

“Don’t worry about the ambulances, there’s a hospital right near here. So ambulances move through throughout the day. Not a sign of any type of emergency. That said, the only emergency at hand for the cardinals is picking a new Pope.”

Well. Who said you can’t learn anything from watching the new. Here I have thought all along, my whole thinking life actually, that ambulances were a sign of an emergency. Silly me. Ambulance. Emergency. Immediate care. Wow. Color me wrong. (What color is wrong?)

Pope Benedict resigned a month ago, 11 February 2013. He officially stepped down two weeks ago, 28 February 2013. Clearly it’s an emergency that a new Pope is picked.

There you have it. Lights and sirens are not an emergency. A month delay and a media circus, emergency. Brought to you by the ever educated CNN reporters.