Friends Forever

It happened so fast, it might not have happened. The door wasn’t open, and then it was – the knob stuck in the drywall. But the gun, it raised so slowly, so deliberately, so pointed directly at my head. And then. Oh my Julie-Anna. She moved so fast. She was on her feet next to me, and then she was over him – the slightest smoke spiraling from the gun.

We buried him there, just beyond her property, on the river island. We sold everything to tear down her cabin and build our home. When she died, Julie-Anna willed the land to me.

Copyright Erin Leary

Copyright Erin Leary

99 words. Feedback appreciated. Another work of fiction. The picture reminded me of Shakshank Redemption, which reminded me of murder, which reminded me of Oh Dear Silvia, and then came this story.

Your love, help, and support is still needed for Rara and Grayson: also known as The Queen CreativePosting Tuesdays, and RarasaurClick here to give. Learn more at #RawrLove.

What story comes to mind when you see that picture? Join inFriday Fictioneers is a weekly blog link-up based on a photo prompt. The Challenge – write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle, and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.) The Key – make every word count.

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*Featured and Post Image  Copyright – Erin Leary
**The ads (which may appear) below are not mine, but they keep this free for me. Do with them as you choose.

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27 thoughts on “Friends Forever

    • Thank you Sandra! I imagined the scene that one seemed all-inclusive and just the kind of arbitrary detail that would remain vivid years after the event. I’m glad I listened to the story as it showed itself. 🙂

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  1. Love it. I feel a whole person, a whole life, a whole world here. The writing is exquisite (and this is precisely the word I mean — I know because I look it up often [though almost never use it]): short, quick, fast, etc., but all there, nothing missing. And not minimalist, at least not in the way I find hard to appreciate. I’m signing up for this challenge!

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    • Oh my! Thank you! I just love this challenge. I’m constantly impressed by the variety and strength of the stories each week. I haven’t been doing it for long, but I’m glad I started.

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    • Well thank you very much! 🙂 There were a few details to choose from when I pictured the scene, and from the sound of it, I picked the right one.

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    • Thank you Janet! I’m so glad I picked the knob in the drywall detail to capture that moment. Thanks for the feedback. 🙂

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  2. Melanie, this is excellent! I’m so impressed. I like how you revealed action in the first part with movement… How things were fast or slow. And then your second part concluding it still carrying the emotional impact…it’s something she’ll live with forever. Wonderful story and I think the best of your work I’ve read for FF.

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    • Thank you Alicia! It takes a lot of force to open a door so hard that it sticks in the wall. I was hoping that detail would convey that. I’m thrilled to hear it worked for the story. 🙂

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    • It takes the force of anger to do that to a wall with a door. Thank heaven for Julie-Anna indeed.
      Thank you Rochelle!

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