Cliff’s Hanger

Cliff didn’t speak until he was four years old.

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The New Walk of Shame

The walk of shame refers to a situation in which a person must walk past strangers or peers alone for an embarrassing reason before reaching a place of privacy. Most commonly, it occurs the morning after a night out at a bar, nightclub, or party. – The Walk of Shame I over indulged a little…

Snowlanta

How about a story? Take a break and take a moment to laugh at the hysterics that was my day today. It’s not funny. So it snowed in Atlanta. Holy mother of fucked, traffic is still at a standstill on highways. Some of my coworkers haven’t even made it home yet. How much snow do…

Tow

It started around the breakfast table on a Thursday morning. I had just broken a fever. None of us were going in to the office. It was our luxury and it wasn’t fair. None of us minded. Monday morning I woke up like I do on any Monday morning – with enough perk and cheer…

A Divorce Dictionary

Divorce is a business. Divorce is a foreign language, a derivative of legalese spoken in the tent city of Recently Released. If you, or someone you know is going through it, about to go through it, or can’t get out of it, call the law firm of Giveme, Agoddamn, Bottleofwine LLC at one eight-hundred rightfuckingnow…

Bee Oh Oh Tee Es

I bought my boots after the divorce was final. I went in to buy boots. I bought my boots 50% off at an already discount shoe store. I fell immediately in love. My totally-not-me, brand new, made-for-walking boots. I used to make fun of my sister for wearing cowboy boots. She at least listens to country…

I Wish I Were

I wish I were a little bar of soap. Not the song. I wish I were a little bar of soap. Stop the singing. It’s rather self destructive to wish to be a bar of soap. A bar of soap only gets smaller before it ceases to be. A bar of soap first loses its square feel, then…