The New Walk of Shame

The walk of shame refers to a situation in which a person must walk past strangers or peers alone for an embarrassing reason before reaching a place of privacy. Most commonly, it occurs the morning after a night out at a bar, nightclub, or party. – The Walk of Shame

I over indulged a little Friday night.

And by a little I mean so fucking much I didn’t even begin to recover until it was time to go out Saturday night. Winning!

Thankfully I have friends who can magically make pizza appear before me mere moments after I announce I need food, and water with it, so I didn’t repeat my previous performance at the company Christmas party, that fateful night in 2012 that I still haven’t lived down when I puked on the wall and was chaperoned out to the shuttle by one of the Directors. Double win!

Sidenote: I’m not the only one at my company who has a drunk story that is a staple at every function, like the guy who threw up in his suitcase, on his only suit, the night before he was to present at a conference. Just sayin’.

Let your fingers do the walking. – Yellow Pages keystrokes

After my way too early in the morning attempt at coffee and breakfast, the very necessary nap, and yet another attempt at eating, I ventured back onto social media to find out what the hell damage was out there.

A low battery may have saved me this time since the walk of shame back through my social media accounts was limited to something not so very shameful at all, but certainly delivered with a level of enthusiasm only attainable after alcohol has entered the conversation.

Not that there wasn’t great potential for loads of general ridiculousness. With WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Hangouts, text messaging, and now Snapchat for future endeavors, I have plenty of opportunity at my fingertips for posting out of my ass, my very proficient ass, but my ass nonetheless.

Not that I haven’t played along in a drunken Twitter party, or deleted my fair share of “what the fuck was I thinking” plenty of times. I got lucky Friday. Note to self – forget the phone charger every time. 

The New Walk of Shame is when a person goes back through embarrassing social media posts in order to delete them from public view after a night at a bar, nightclub, or party. -Melanie

Remember, friends don’t let friends Tweet drunk. Designate a typer.

What tid-bit of glorious drunkenness have you found during a social media walk of shame? Do share…and maybe I’ll tell you about my shameful but not shameful discovery Saturday morning.


*Featured Image from Giphy
**Post images from Giphy; click each for source, except “Keystrokes” (fingers walking on keyboard) by Mari Kane Photo
***The ads (which may appear) below are not mine, but they keep this free for me. Do with them as you choose.


28 thoughts on “The New Walk of Shame

  1. There is a fine line between infamy and legendary. It sounds like you have proficiently managed to remain in the legendary status no matter how much staggering was involved in your walk. Well done, Melanie!


  2. When I drink I become ridiculously happy and lovey dovey, a disposition in sobriety I would find a bit thick if not vomit inducing. While very drunk I have declared my love for female friends, and female supervisors/friends which has had weird and surprising outcomes. I have also had been the recipient of drunken declarations. It has all worked out in the end but, sweet Jesus, I can’t help but feel each time an incident like this has occurred I have been playing with fire and could have gotten very badly burned.


    • I’m as adverse to lovey dovey huggy either way, but I do have the habit of monopolizing conversations when I’m drunk, which is totally opposite of the muted sober self. I have some friends who will love the daylights out of someone/thing while drinking, and it’s usually pretty amusing.
      Glad you’ve come out of yours ok. A declaration of love, drunk or no, could lead to some awkward next day conversations.


  3. Ooh, Melanie. Do tell! I have no fun or opportunities for the walk of shame. Oh, but you’re right?! Social media could get ugly. A designated typer. Ha I love that. That should be added to the dictionary!


    • I think you may be very lucky you won’t be experiencing it. Thanks to the everlasting internet, the new walk of shame isn’t something you can hide from by taking a different route home from work.
      But to tell on myself…this time it really wasn’t anything, all those remarks have been deleted and wiped from memory. Deny deny deny. 🙂


      • Whew! Melanie, I don’t have this kind of drama in my life, so I can live vicariously through you. I think you can have a little fun with that one! Lucky we can hit the delete key. 🙂


        • I hope it’s a good long time before I induce that kind of hangover again. 🙂 But I’m sure I’ll plenty of other adventures, all with a dash of nuts.
          And speaking of the delete key. I edited my earlier comment (thanks! for replying) so no one can cheat and get the answer by reading these.


  4. I used to be a notorious drunk texter. And a very Passive-Aggressive Facebook updater. (Go back to 2010 or so and see what I mean.) I was so bad I can’t really remember all of the bad things I did. (A lot of cursing and such. Most of the drunk text were to ladies professing my undying love. Boy I’m glad that’s over) I do remember this one time. I was at the bar and it was about a week away from our local Relay for Life event. I had a friend who had just been diagnosed (it ad just come back after a few years) so on Facebook I offered up to shave my head if they raised enough money. In six days they raised $576 and my friend was the one who buzzed it all off.


    • I generally prefer a slower drinking pace now. I didn’t used to; I used to get wasted every weekend back in college, which may have led to letting so loose this weekend because I was back with college friends at our college watering hole.
      I know how I can comment, status update, tweet when I’m in a highly social situation and drinking responsibly, so I expected more than I found. Between the low battery and all the off-screen good times, there wasn’t time to type. Thank goodness!


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