Flight Risk

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly blog link-up based on a photo prompt. The Challenge – write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle, and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.) The Key – make every word count. Up to the challenge? Join in

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view-from-the-planeWe’d reached cruising altitude: trust established, restrictions relaxed. I drifted to complacent, dreamlike to far-off horizons—beautiful places of romantic notions.
Bliss.
Interrupted.
Turbulence.
The makings of nightmares invaded my imagined reality. All I had known, and hoped to know, disappeared in an instant.
Unreal.
Real.
Unimaginable and unbelievable, but tangible, happening right before my eyes, desperate to close; my awareness too much, desperate to return to the intangible joy of my subconscious where all was still well.
Broken wings I’d not prepared for threatened the peaceful flight.
A peace pretended all along.
Destination diverted.
Experience rendered ridiculous,
By the inexperienced.

*****

100 words. Prose Poetry. Feedback is always appreciated. Comments of any kind, really–so long as they are related to the post.

The story is loosely based on actual events. The memory was awakened through recent events and though I worked to quash it, it seems the universe is apt to allow me the opportunity to write it out. It’s wonderful how putting a memory to paper can take it out of the precious brain space needed for more joyful moments.

I’m not entirely thrilled with this story attempt. I struggled with it, but could find no other to replace it. Not every week is a success, but every week is a learning experience.

What story comes to mind when you see that picture? Join in

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*Your love, help, and support is still needed for Rara and Grayson: also known as The Queen CreativePosting Tuesdays, and Rarasaur. Help is needed, if you can. Learn more at #RawrLove.

**Featured and Post Image Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

***The ads (which may appear) below are not mine, but they keep this free for me. Do with them as you choose.

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45 thoughts on “Flight Risk

    • I’ve made some edits. I don’t know if they help or not. The flight is supposed to be a metaphor for relationships, friendships, the stuff of personal attachment and when they go wrong, or otherwise not as planned or expected. I may have failed this weeks story attempt. Of so, then it’s a learning experience.

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      • It’s not a failure by any means! (-: You got the story onto paper, and that is a success. Another day that has evaded the grip of writer’s block. I’ll check out the edits now.

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    • I wish Shatner could narrate all my nightmares, sleep and awake. I had a particularly bad one last night that could have used his VoiceOver. Perhaps I’ll request that as I go to sleep tonight. 🙂
      Quick question: Plans or planes?

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      • *forehead slap* Planes of course. My fingers failed me again. Or, perhaps the keyboard purposefully didn’t depress the “e” as part of its evil plot to steal what’s left of my soul?

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          • Well, it is me we are talking about… so, it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to believe that I was just talking gibberish. But, not this time. This time it was a plain old plane typo. (Okay, that last line was fun to write.)

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            • I found it! It was a victory on Samara’s post from today. I thought I was being clever with words, and ended up being far more clever than I had realized. Sofia Leo pointed out my brilliance and awarded me a blogging victory. It’s been a good day.

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            • I can’t believe he wrote the article, and once written, I can’t believe anyone would publish it… perhaps as satire, but it definitely wasn’t. So… yeah.
              People scare me.

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            • I think it’s just part of the “good old boys club”. There’s the frat-like man-child who believes he’s owed something by society, his employer, and the woman (unfortunate enough to be dating him). The expectations are unrealistic and no one could live up to them, and I doubt he’d be happy even if he got his “perfect girlfriend”.
              P.S. I added a link to Samara’s post in your comment so people can see what we are talking about here. 🙂

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            • One of these days I’ll learn how to blog properly and be able to add links to things in comments on my own. Maybe….
              Frat-like man-child… Ugh. That’s just depressing. When our future generations look back to this period of humanity they are going to be embarrassed by how ignorant and childish we were.

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            • I can’t do fancy-schmancy links and bolds and italics on comments on other’s blogs, but I can go in on my own and edit them to make them fancy-schmancy.
              Future generations will not look any harshly on us than we do on previous generations.

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            • That’s optimistic of you… and I guess makes some sense. We aren’t all that harsh on our prior generations because we can rationalize – they didn’t know any better, the world was still too new, they did the best they could.
              But, at some point, we really should know better, we’ve lived long enough to know right from wrong, and we could do much better.

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            • We could do much better. Much much better, but the high road is a hard one to reach. Sadly. Fear and ignorance still trump acceptance and understanding.

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            • When I’m supreme ruler of the universe, fear and ignorance will be first against the wall.
              😉
              Just a bit of silliness for a tired Thursday morning.

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            • It is a tired Thursday. I’m tired. It’s been a week of turbulence. It was a perfect prompt for me. (P.S. I think you’d do fantastic at this challenge.)

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            • Thank you. It has caught my eye before, of course, I’ve just never seemed to get around to actually replying to one of the prompts. One of these weeks I probably will.

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            • I’ve enjoyed it. It’s given me something to do every week, and I enjoy the practice of brevity. And it’s a great group of writers.

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            • My muse went on extended vacation, so this has given me inspiration. It’s tough, though. 100 words isn’t much.

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            • I stare at the screen, knowing that you expect me to pump my fist and declare, “Challenge accepted!” But, my hands remain idle on the keyboard. It is hard to turn down a prompt, a challenge, a chance to shine. I want to jump to it. My muse, however, the provider of my words, the guider of my thoughts, whispers into the bleak corners of my mind to be still for a moment, to be patient. Not all challenges are causes that need to be championed and conquered. Remain calm, stay the course, as they say, my time will come.

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            • Ha! Wonderful. Challenge declined in challenge form. No pressure intended. If we all did every challenge we’d be writing 24-hours a day. 🙂

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  1. Dear Melanie,

    Sounds like all of those thoughts that come in the moment of severe turbulence. We fight our natural inclinations when we fly. Trust is all important, but the winds doesn’t have that word in its vocabulary. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    • I was not at all envisioning an actual flight, but something altogether different. I am glad, though, that I captured the harrowing experience of a shaky flight.

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    • I think I may have over-edited my original intent, but that’s ok. A story is meant to breath on its own, and it seems this one is doing that quite well. I’m sorry you had such an awful flight. I’ve been on those, and it makes me question flying in the future.

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  2. Awesome! Loved it…I could feel the emotions. I do not like to fly. I like the convenience of it but I have to do things to keep my mind off of what we are really doing in a medal tube 30,000 feet in the air! When there is turbulence I feel my heart race….

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    • Thank you!
      I’m not much of a fan of flying. I usually drive, but every once in a while I fly. Whenever I do, I wonder what I was thinking.

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    • Thank you Susan. I didn’t quite get this one across. I edited out too much and what I thought and what I wrote didn’t exactly mesh. This one goes into the learned-something category.

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  3. Melanie, I read some comments so I know this a metaphor for relationships and friendships, and other things. Still, I think it works as its own story by itself. I think people can pull what they like from it. Nicely done!

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    • Thank you Amy. I’ve noticed a trend through the comments, and it seems it works quite well as a story of flying and not just a metaphor for relationships (and it may not even work for that at all). The good thing about stories is when the reader gets their own experience from it, so for that I’m glad I put this one out there.

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  4. Reading that certainly got my head into a spin. It has a certain crescendo to it, building to around two thirds of the way through, then settles a little to the end. Story wise, I believe you communicated a fear of flying very well.

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    • Thank you! Flying is certainly one of those things that carries a certain amount of fear with it, no matter how confident the passenger.

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