Monthly Peace Challenge: Peace at Home

Monthly Peace Challenge
Peace at Home: This month I challenge you to explore how to have peace in relationships or how to have peace at home.

I gather from the prompt examples, the relationships and homes up for discussion challenge are of the love variety. I either have to take a Fail on this one and say see you next month and not even give this further thought, or I have to take a Fail on this one and give this further thought.

dumper. dumpee. divorced. shit! piss! fail.

I’m 35 29, so I’ve had, like, 13 years of dating (and marriage) failures to learn from. I’m 1 failed relationship short of a Master of Fail in Sucks-At-Love. But you learn more from your failures than your successes, right. Right?

I’ve succeeded in having nearly every relationship end qualified as a natural disaster. To peace-up my next long-term relationship – should I actually start dating again, or at least have the date not have a “car accident” and cancel – I send thee, the future ~~sucker~~ boyfriend, a Letter of Qualified Advice.

♦♦♦

Dear ~~Nonexistent~~ Future Boyfriend With Whom Partial or Complete Co-Habitation May Occur,

Don’t drive my car. I’ll drive my car and you drive your car. The seat, the mirrors, the music, they’re all set perfectly. Why mess with perfection? Unless I’m drunk, then you better drive my car – but please put my seat back up. I’m short. I have to pull on the steering wheel to get the seat to move up. No, I don’t; it’s automatic. Still, one of these days I’m going to pop that steering wheel off in my face. It’ll redefine airbag.

We’ll have our thing. Sure. It’ll be cute. But then you have your thing and I’ll have my thing, and we’ll still have something to talk about. Besides the weather: it rained today. There was only a 20 percent chance of rain today, but it rained today. Oh? You were there. Right. So, how about that rain today. There was only a 20 percent chance.

You leave the seat up and I’ll leave the seat down and we’ll both shut up already. You don’t put the seat down for me. I don’t put the seat up for you. Even stephen. Now, put that lid down because no one really likes to look at an open toilet.

I’ll cook, you’ll clean, and vice-versa. Done. You make breakfast for dinner and I’ll make dinner for breakfast and we’ll laugh together at all the people eating sandwiches for lunch while we eat sandwiches for lunch and reminisce over our favorite picnic lunches that don’t involve each other. Mine was in Oxford in June in 2005. You can start there.

Good luck,
Me